The journey

I know I'm going to regret staying up to write this tomorrow, but at the moment I feel compelled to write so away I go.

I've been thinking the past couple days about how funny life is. We spend so much time and energy working towards these goals that we set, and then once we achieve them, we don't know what to do. Or at least I don't. It's always about getting to the next step - getting into college, getting that job, getting promoted. Once my life got a little bit settled down, I had no idea what to do with myself. These babies are very similar. It was such a struggle to get pregnant, then we had to stay pregnant. Then we had to get them off oxygen, out of the incubator, eating on their own, coming home.

They will be ten weeks old tomorrow, and I feel like all I've done is focus on the next step. What about everything we've done these past ten weeks? Part of me feels like I've missed it. Now granted, exhaustion is starting to set in and I am indeed losing chunks of time in the wee hours of the morning, waking up with a baby in my lap and a half eaten bottle on the table with no memory of feeding them. But I digress. If all I ever do is focus on getting to that next milestone, I'm going to miss all the amazing stops along the way. And just the getting there.

So I'm setting a new goal to enjoy each day, and not worry so much about where I'm going. I've got to have some destination in mind so I know what direction to take life, but I don't have to go full speed ahead. Maybe I could drive in the right lane for a while and enjoy the scenery. So what if the house is dirty, or I'm late to the doctor, or the laundry isn't folded. If I want to cuddle with a baby I should do it and not feel guilty.

Is there any chance that I'll be able to follow through with this new philosophy? Not sure, but I'm definitely going to try.

Now on a funny note, the mail brought me a great laugh yesterday. Jury duty notice. I'm thinking that infant triplets qualifies as an extreme physical or financial hardship. But just to be safe tomorrow I'm going to ask the doc for a get out of jury duty free card. Surely they can come up with something. In all seriousness I'm still breastfeeding and I don't know that they would stop a trial so I can go pump. I wish this would have come a year or two ago, I would be interested in being on a jury, but the timing is just all wrong. Maybe next time.